10 Things I Learned at the Warped Tour (Detroit 2006)
  1. No punk get up is complete unless you're carrying four or five bags full of
    “rad swag.”
  2. It’s punk rock to throw water at people (extra points if you dowse their
    digital camera).
  3. Throwing plastic bottles on the ground for the citizens of Detroit to pick up
    is very trendy amongst the “punks.”
  4. Stock tip: Invest heavily in tattoo removal technology.
  5. The new punk youth don’t believe in sun screen (pink-toned skin and/or
    skin cancer are very punk).
  6. This new punk is worse than the last new punk (it almost made me
    nostalgic for the jocks-in-Docs pop punk era  that I thought could be no
    more tame and formulaic, alas, I was wrong).

    7. Bees are cute but can be
    painful, even deadly. That is why
    I am all for the new Bumble-
    Bunny, genetic hybrid, it’s cute
    and fluffy and brings you honey.
8. There are approximately 4000
Ramones-related products for sale at the
Warped Tour. No jokin’! (Punk rock is about
buying stuff, hey I can do that!)
AMONG THE OLD SCHOOL ATTRACTIONS: HELMET AND ELEPHANT EARS
9. It is very punk to pay $29.75 to see 30 bands, 28 of which all sound
exactly the same. That's only about $1 per crappy MTV wanna-be band.  
10. Joan Jett kicks more ass than all of
the punk posers on the Warped bill,
combined (sadly her set was restricted to
30 minutes).
http://warpedtour.com/

--Craig Campbell
(July, 29 2006)
Photographs by Jaqueline Herman
PUT ANOTHER DIME IN THE JUKEBOX, BABY
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